by Sandy Lindsey
1) You live in a $400 a month apartment, drive a 12-year old
pickup, own over $20,000 in firearms, and over the past ten years
have spent over $200,000 on rounds, shells, laser sights and other
hunting accessories.
2) You plan on naming your future children: Mossberg, Remington,
Smith & Wesson, and Taurus.
3) During boring meetings at the office, you practice reloading
under the table.
4) You started a write-in campaign to nominate the book "How
To Bag Monster Bucks" for a Pulitzer Prize.
5) If you had your way, you'd decorate the family Christmas tree
with shot shells, Spyderdo knives and empty magazines.
6) Instead of snoring, your husband/boyfriend makes turkey calls
all night long.
7) You floss your teeth with bowstring.
8) Your wardrobe consists entirely of RealTree fashions.
9) You turned your spare bedroom into a 12 X 12 meat locker for
next hunting season.
10) You're saving up so that you can afford to have your sweat
glands surgically removed to increase your chances during next
year's turkey season.